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Air Frustrations

I hate traveling with a passion. I love the places it takes me. The actual traveling I detest more than eating slimy okra.

[Writer’s note: Beware. It’s gonna be a lot of complaining in the next paragraphs. But you will enjoy it.]

After graduating I flew from St. Louis with the family to visit my sister in California. After a week there we flew back home to Puerto Rico. Oh my; airlines are tempting me to… to… not return my seat back to full right position for landing, or get out of my seat when the “fasten your seat belt” sign is on. Don’t mess with me. I will!

Top 25 reasons why flying SUCKS! (I know I’m not being very articulate, but who cares? If you wanna read something articulate check out another blog. Read on and have fun.)

1) It’s freaking expensive! With all the money I have spent traveling up until now I could have built myself a freaking sweet time machine. Would have gone back in time and kicked the Wright brothers’ butts!

2) Now you can only check one bag! Where am I supposed to put the second cadaver?

3) They charge ridiculously for overweight bags. It’s not my fault Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Doe were overweight!

4) People behind the counter are nasty mean! (“Meanness abilities” always on their resume)

5) Bag handlers are beasts! They don’t understand that precious cargo is inside (see number 2).

6) They make you strip before passing the metal detector.

7) They take away your nose clippers.

8) You can’t bring water with you. They do this not for safety, but so you will buy the $5.08 bottle inside the terminal.

9) Only 1oz whatevas on the plane. They want to make sure it goes well with everything else that’ mini on the plane: mini sandwiches, mini pretzels, mini cookies, mini forks, mini knives, mini spoons, mini sugars, mini sodas, mini tea, mini coffee, mini tvs, mini seats, mini bathrooms, mini space, mini service…

10) Seats only recline 2cms, and they make you be in a full right position for landing. Yeah, like it makes a difference.

11) There is one inch between your knee and the guy in front of you’s behind.

12) Footsie and elbowing games with the two people on your side.

13) The fat/smelly/talkative guy on your left.

14) The crying baby behind you.

15) There’s always a long line to the bathroom every time you really have to go.

16) Running to the other side of the airport to catch your next flight.

17) They do their best, and succeed, in making you loose your connection.

18) $10 sandwiches and $5 cokes in airports.

19) They make you wear seat belts, as if they will save you from a plummeting plane traveling 1000 miles an hour.

20) SKY MALL. I have never ever ever in my life seen anyone buy anything from that magazine.

21) The air-hostess, I mean air-waitress, correction flight attendant’s cheap perfume.

22) Horrible airplane food. No wonder ½ hour after serving everyone is rushing to the bathrooms.

23) Waiting an hour to get your bags. Why are mine always the last ones!?

24) Them loosing your bags.

25) Your lack of power over the whole thing.

I have more but decided to stop there. Feel free to add more in the comments section.

Murphy's Law

Mur·phy's Law / ˈmərfēz/ a supposed law of nature, expressed in various humorous popular sayings, to the effect that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. (From The Oxford Pocket Dictionary of Current English 2008. Just to sound like I really know what I’m saying.)

I never truly understood the popular Murphy’s Law until yesterday. Something had the chance to go wrong, and it did. No Dad, don’t worry…I’m still graduating in four days. I woke up to a gorgeous morning: the sun was shining, the birds were singing, the air was cool. A perfect morning to go running to the park. Knowing that my volleyball days are over, and that running more than two miles seemed more like an impossibility than a challenge, I decided to run to Forest Park. About two miles roundtrip I decided to push myself to that limit. I was feeling great, and hopefully didn’t look like a gazelle running. Tied my running shoes, put on my shorts, got my ipod, and went running. I was so proud of myself! I ran faster than I thought, didn’t end up panting, and even did some sit-ups and push-ups after running up Art Hill. By the time I got home I felt like I champ! J I still got it!... Got what?! Then I realized: I didn’t have my id or my keys.

“Oh shit” I said. Immediately started laughing like a maniac. Even the construction workers turned around to see where that bird call was coming from. I must have dropped them somewhere during my 2 mile run. (Yeah, I know. I’m an idiot to have put them in my underwear.) ….. I then ran to Student Records to see if I could get a new card…. Duh! They are closed in the weekends. That means I won’t be able to get a new one until Monday. “I’ll retrace my steps!” somehow seemed like a good idea. And I ran again….. (Panting at this point)…. L …. Obviously, I didn’t find them. Remember the name of this blog entry? So after 4 miles or so of running and feeling stupid I stopped to get a new key. They gave me a temporary one to get into my building and my room. Lucky I felt? Not! I then went to the cafeteria to see if I could beg someone there to let me eat for free because without my id card I cannot buy anything. Thankfully I managed to beg for some free food and someone ended up with a date proposal. (hehe lol right?)

Why Murphy’s Law? It wasn’t that bad. Well, it happens to be that it is not strange for me to find myself in a pitiful situation during my run to Forest Park. For instance:

1) Last October I twisted my ankle pretty badly after a dude in a bike almost ran me over in Forest Park. I then had to hop back home for about a mile.

2) Last year I had to sprint really really really fast for my life when out of nowhere bad weather produced a tornado in the middle of my run. I had to run like a gazelle in high heels to save my life.

I don’t think I have to make my case anymore. “Heisenberg indetermination principle applied to ill luck: The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you, the worse you know when this will happen, and vice-versa.” (Murphy’s Laws Site)

Reloj de arena / Hourglass

Empieza a pasar el tiempo en el reloj de arena.

Pensando que todavía quedan muchas horas

no logramos ver que apresura su carrera.

Primero lento, después más rápido.

Despertamos alborotados,

¿Qué ha pasado?

Se agotó

la

arena

¿Empezamos?

Lo volteámos rápido;

esperamos felices el futuro.

Pero es el pasado lo que nos ha forjado

a convertirnos hoy en orgullosos graduados.

Nos esperan grandes éxitos y nuevos recuerdos.